


Kaerou

by semilunars



Category: Sdorica (Video Games)
Genre: (i guess it still counts even if it's lowkey), (more on experimentation but yknow), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Epistolary, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Overdose, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Multi, no beta we die like len, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27932608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semilunars/pseuds/semilunars
Summary: though that scar hurts,this thirst never be quenched,it doesn’t matter anymore, let’s blow them all away
Relationships: Angelia Carlos & Elio Ceres, Aosta Clovis & Elio Ceres, Aosta Clovis & Morris Dietrich, Elio Ceres & Morris Dietrich, Elio Ceres/Rune (Sdorica), Mentions of Charle Ceres/Morris Dietrich, Mentions of Rune/Sophie Lee, Rune & Sanchez (Sdorica)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is not a happy fic. this is not entirely soft. please heed the words of the almighty taglist.
> 
> (title and summary is from [kaerou by fujii kaze](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goU1Ei8I8uk))

“…The key, Dietrich.”

“…”

“Shot has told me you have the sixth key of the Tower. I must obtain it for us to return to our realm.”

_I’d rather do something else— anything, really, perhaps even die— than go back._

“…No.”

“Dietrich—”

“ _Stop_ … calling me that. I’m no Dietrich. Not after everything.”

“…You know better than to make this conversation difficult.”

“I could say the same for you, Professor Clovis.”

A sigh.

“Give me the key. _Now._ ”

“No!”

“Elio—”

_“Don’t come any closer!”_

“Dietrich…?!”

“Not even you can take the Key back if I do this.”

“…”

“I know I’m not one to ask this of you, but please… don’t test my patience, Professor Clovis.”

_Elio Dietrich… are you truly so desperate to escape reality, you’d use your powers and risk both of our lives…?!_

“Calm yourself, Dietrich!”

_Think, Aosta, think! How would Professor Dietrich reason with him if he were here?_

“Listen to yourself— multiple realities are at stake here, including ours. If we don’t come back, we’re finished! Such rash actions will not solve anything, not even the griefs of both you and your father!”

“But if I don’t leave this reality, we’ll all be free…! I won’t have to live with this pain anymore, and the same goes for everyone else back home. If I go with you, I’ll still be the bane of my father’s existence, leading people to rocky roads until they’re dying—”

“ _You_ are dying!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **tw for this chapter: mentions of self-harm, human experimentation, and overdosage**
> 
> an experimental / vent epistolary of sorts, exploring one of the timelines to be featured in [this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23380366/chapters/56023780). the gist is that morris is alive and (formerly, now) married, both sanchez and elio are rescued, but the cost for it all was... yeah.
> 
> (and yes, i'm still working on that fic i promise. my brain is just a bitch about it, but that's an author's note for another day.)
> 
> also a birthday fic for elio, and mildly inspired by ayngondaia's [belong](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20640452)

_Twenty-fourth of Sea Month_

_To Elio:_

_I have taken note of both your reports and your request for a leave. I truly do appreciate all your hard work— these findings will benefit both the two of us and the Kingdom. You are free to return home to your fathers and rest until our next endeavour._

_On another note, the herbal tea you wrote about worked like a charm! My sickness began to ease up after a few days thanks to it. While I’ll be unable to visit due to a change of plans, I’ll make sure to take care before setting foot for the Slums. By the time you return, expect Lio to leave you a gift on my behalf. Consider it a token of gratitude._

_I know life hasn’t been kind to both of us… but I truly want to make it up to you. Not just as the Queen and a former ally, but as your birth cousin and a friend. Just give me the word._

_Do take care, Elio, and until we meet again._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Angelia Carlos_

_Queen, Kingdom of the Sun_

* * *

Back when Elio was younger, he would sometimes make a paper plane.

Morris once told him that Charle used to do the same when he was in his shoes— when exams were coming close and he had to sit still in the library or attend his classes, even if he’d rather while the time travelling to Vendacti knows where, unearthing hidden treasures left and right.

Despite not really sharing Charle’s old spirits, Elio found himself making paper planes… for when he was overwhelmed with life, but can’t fly himself out of the Academy for fresh air. Worse comes to worst, he’d write his lamentations down on the paper beforehand, and he’d watch as they were whisked away. Out of his hand, and into the fire. Or a trash bin. Sometimes, the planes even come in handy for target practice.

Of course, not everything can be solved as simple as that, but there’s nothing wrong with catharsis, no matter how unorthodox it seems.

And even if Elio wasn’t really a student anymore, let alone a little boy, the statement still stands.

In the distance, he could faintly hear a village clock ring— once, twice… five times.

Soon, it’ll be time to meet everyone else at Charle’s grave and head home.

With a sigh, he finished converting Angelia’s old letter into the paper plane in his hands. Rune was still in the middle of the process, fumbling with another sheet, trying not to tear it apart.

“Here, let me— you’re folding it the other way around.”

Rune sat still as Elio leaned over, gently taking the paper and returning it once the former’s error was rectified.

Even before his freedom, Rune was always the one taking care of bigger things. Cleaning up messes, carrying goods around, beating up whatever stood in his way.

Looking after Sophie.

He didn’t have to commemorate Sophie’s memory with Elio by his side, especially as the latter commemorated Charle’s. Really. Deep inside, the demihuman believed himself to be at fault— well, in the past, at least. He still struggles with that sometimes, but that’s the thing about recovery. Sometimes setbacks are just… there, and there’s not a lot one can do about it.

So he’ll take any progress he can get. Even if it means teaching or showing Rune something the warrior never thought of doing. Something so complex, so _delicate._ Instead of… well, pushing him away to protect him.

“…I’m done… I think.”

He showed the finished plane to the demihuman— shyly, perhaps. It was a bit crumpled, not the prettiest thing… but it’s a plane.

And Elio was perfectly fine with that.

“Shall we give it a go, then?”

The smile on the demihuman’s face was soft and gentle, like the sunset gracing the prairie. Like the wind that blew.

Rune could only smile back. “Yes… let’s.”

* * *

_Dear Elio,_

_I hope that you are well. We understand that serving the Kingdom is no easy task, but it’s been a while since your last letter. It’s… concerning. Did something come up? If there’s anything wrong… remember— you always have us to turn to._

_Your father and I are eagerly waiting for your return._

_Via Soul,_

_Charle_

_P.S.: Leah’s brother dropped by some time ago. He left something for you. It’s from the Queen… I wonder what it could be?_

* * *

Charle’s handwriting was still distinguishable for Rune— tiny and a bit difficult to read, but elegant in its own right.

Rune’s skills have improved. His folding became neater, he no longer crumpled and tore the paper planes as much as he used to. But when he showed Elio the finished product, he doesn’t beam like usual. Just a soft, sad smile, and he’s back to focusing on his own paper plane.

In hopes of not dampening the mood further, the warrior could only silently wonder why.

Hearing the future Aosta out, surrendering to that parallel Clark, reconciling with Morris… it helped Elio become— no, made him realize that he was _fine._ As horrible as the past was, there were people who wouldn’t think any less of him just because of it.

He recalled what the doctor said after he revealed his true condition. _“The matters of the heart are no concern of mine, but I insist you give yourself and your father a chance. He knows better than to spend these next few years using his own son as a scapegoat.”_

The Sophie, Angelia, Nolva, Charle, Morris, and Clark from all those worlds… after all the trouble Elio caused for their parallel selves, they still welcomed him to their investigation with open arms and helped him return home. His father and the present-day Aosta came for him. _He_ came for him.

Still, Elio found himself double-guessing things. It’s just… one of those days.

Was Rune truly welcoming him back?

Or was he simply staying behind with Sanchez to repay his debt to Sophie?

There was only one way to find out— Elio wished he didn’t waste so much time, but sometimes he doesn’t have much of a choice but to let the warrior stay for a little longer.

And yet, he couldn't bear to face Rune and be honest with him, a mixed bag of emotions— fear, shame, what have you— all tied around Elio's neck, weighing his already heavy head down.

He can't take that advantage of that freedom forever. Hold him back. But, that bonfire…

_“There’s nothing I want to do.”_

_“Elio… is like… me?”_

_“No, I just…”_

Rune said those four words a long time ago; why did it still sting…?

* * *

_To Elio Dietrich:_

_Good day. I am a member of the noble Aldric lineage, and brother to Sione Aldric._

_Pardon my sudden message. I understand that you and Professor Dietrich are still recovering from these past few months… but unfortunately, things have once again taken a turn for the worst, and I can only turn to so many people. Considering your contributions as a spy for Queen Angelia, I believe you to be a solid candidate for assisting me in this new crisis._

_Would it be possible for us to meet at the Aldric residence within the following week? I promise to explain all the details to you._

_Hoping for your immediate response._

_Regards,_

_Ace Aldric_

* * *

Elio secretly slipped Ace’s letter, now a paper plane, into the old tea chest when—

“…Happy Valentine’s Day…!”

On the other hand, while Elio was watching Rune’s paper plane glide above the horizon, the latter took to plucking some prairie flowers as a token of appreciation. By the time he turned around, he was greeted by the unexpected sight of the warrior offering them with a smile on his face.

“Er… thank you. You didn’t have to, really,” replied the demihuman with a chuckle.

Followed by some awkward silence.

“But, if you don’t mind me asking— just curious, I mean no offense— why did you decide to give _me_ flowers?”

Rune blinked. “Sophie once said people give flowers to the people they like. Is she wrong?”

“No? It’s just… well…”

_Oh, Sun, this is mortifying._

“Not that I’m saying Valentine’s Day is strictly for romantic love— I mean, different kinds of love exist, so you don’t really need romance to celebrate it! In fact, you’re not even _obligated_ to celebrate it! I do appreciate the thought, though; it’s just…”

_Vendacti’s sake, Elio! Get to the point!_

“You see, some people… don’t see the day with that in mind. They… focus more of the romance part.”

_See? That wasn’t so bad, right?_

Said thought was accompanied by Elio rubbing his temples with one hand.

“So?”

“…So what?”

“So… there’s still nothing wrong with me giving you flowers.”

Elio could only gawk.

No amount of courtship from Rune Scholars could ever prepare him for this.

“Wait, so… is that— forgive me for getting the wrong idea, but… are you considering… _that?_ With me?”

Rune silently nodded.

“But— but your freedom…! You can have whatever you want! You needn’t jump into something like that so soon! Surely there’s something else you’d—?”

“We are all running out of time.”

Elio’s eyes widened.

“That’s what Sanchez said. It’s why he told me… to try and do this.”

Rune looked down, placing a broken locket in Elio’s tiny hand.

 _His_ old slave locket.

“I lost Sophie before I understood love. I… never told her. I don’t want it to happen again.”

“Rune…”

_It’s not that I dislike you._ _But one of these days… I’ll leave you too, just like Sophie. And Clark. And everyone else. The last thing I’d want is to give you more pain._

“I’m sorry, but… would you hold it against me if I can’t answer you right now? I’m not saying no, I just…”

_Again, it’s not that I dislike you._

“I need some time to consider this.”

Rune, in spite of his mild confusion, reassured him with the same warmth he radiated the moment he gave those flowers.

“…Thank you.”

Elio, in relief, smiled in return.

“I _do_ cherish the gift, though… that I can guarantee.”

If Rune blinked that very moment, he would’ve missed that mild touch of pink on Elio’s cheeks, barely visible as dusk swept throughout the prairie.

“Shall we return home, then?”

* * *

_To Morris Dietrich:_

_Good day. I am a member of the noble Aldric lineage, and brother to Sione Aldric._

_Within the past week, I wrote a letter to your son Elio Dietrich, requesting for his presence at the Aldric residence. I wanted to discuss an urgent political matter with him, as it will require leaving for the Eastern Alliance._

_However, a few nights ago, the healers discovered that Elio had been poisoned via potion overdose. Rest assured; he is gradually recovering. But as vital as his participation would be… having him at the Alliance wouldn’t sit right with me. Not when he’s in this condition._

_I’ll admit— I don’t know the full context as to why and how this came to be, and figured you would be the best person to turn to. This is the reason why I wrote this letter._

_The healers said you are free to visit him and take him back home starting tomorrow morning. I’m willing to assist in any way I can before my departure._

_Regards,_

_Ace Aldric_

* * *

Out of his hand, and into the vast sky.

Elio watched as Rune’s paper plane flew away, the tea chest in his hands. The village clock rang out, like always, but fainter than before. _Sophie and the circus… Clark… Father…_

He breathed in… and out. Petrichor graced his senses, soothing the last of the pain from his visit to the Desert Kingdom’s graveyards.

“…Well?”

Sanchez turned to Rune, the pair keeping their distance from Elio. Rune could only turn and blink in confusion at his companion’s word.

“Come on, don’t give me that look.” The former sighed, crossing his arms. “You gonna tell him, or what?”

Oh… right.

Rune pulled out an envelope, now deep in thought. It appeared to be a run-of-the-mill envelope, but the same cannot be said of its contents— a ticket for the Northern Lands, one of the most expensive tickets known to Vendacti’s residents, notoriously difficult to obtain.

He was from the North— that was what Elio thought, right? So it would only be proper if… if he came along. Right?

Rune only has one shot at this. He knows that. But…

“Let’s wait first, Sanchez. Elio… he’s sad.”

Without any other word, he watched as Rune put back the envelope and sat beside the demihuman, offering him comfort.

“Everyone… is resting well now.”

Elio hummed.

“Rune… I—”

He was interrupted when he felt the warrior pull him in, letting him lean on his scarred shoulder. “You did nothing wrong. They would agree.”

The warrior heard Elio sniffle a little, before he started muttering a small apology, something along the lines of “Sophie would probably insist I smile—”

And he shook his head.

“Morris said before… it can wait.” _Sophie and Morris… didn’t get along, but maybe… she would agree._

Rune might be some trash face, but Sanchez couldn’t deny that the heart beating within was golden. He really was one of a kind.

He smiled to himself one last time before he made his way.

_…Go get ‘em, tiger._

Elio opened his eyes, and he could see stars slowly starting to twinkle in the darkening sky.

“It’s… dusk already…”

Did he… was he out for that long?

“You’re right. We should go,” the demihuman uttered in a hurry, standing up and dusting his coat and pants. “Dad must be waiting for us— Rune?”

The warrior handed his envelope to Elio.

“I don’t want… to do it alone.” He carefully picked his words… the ones he knew, anyway.

“Will Elio consider?”

* * *

_Rune,_

_Can you come tomorrow? I want to see you again._

_Please._

_Elio_

* * *

…He can’t.

Elio _can’t._

Rune stared at the demihuman when he declined his offer, mouth agape, his smile dropping from his face.

“I really do appreciate your offer, and I wish not to disappoint…”

_But I won’t make it._ Elio has known that for a long time now, but could never bear to bring the bad news, could never reveal how badly the High Priest broke him. Even if he had to welcome Rune ailing and in bed.

The warrior’s gaze was the next thing to drop. Even if he doesn’t know why, maybe he should’ve braced himself better for the rejection.

“But before you go… I want you to have this.”

Rune looked up to find Elio struggling to search his drawers, until a tea chest was in his hands.

 _The_ tea chest.

“A long time ago, back when I was a spy for Queen Angelia, she sent me this.” He held the chest with care, tracing the letters with his index finger. “Of course, the tea’s all used up by now, but there’s still quite the surprise inside.”

Elio handed it out in front of Rune. “It’s yours now, Rune. It’s served me long enough.”

And he was wearing the warmest smile the warrior had ever seen. So warm, he was… tearing up?

So Rune gently placed his hands above Elio’s.

Day by day, Elio’s hands grew colder.

And Rune was warm.

 _So_ warm.

It was the kind type of warmth. Not the disgusting warmth that burned his throat and veins as the High Priest watched in curiosity and glee. Not the cruel warmth that teased Elio before they departed from his loved ones’ bodies. Not the punishing warmth Elio inflicted on himself, leaving scars on his palms, in hopes of being able to feel.

And in its own way, the warmth pained him so.

“Rune… I can trust you to make them fly at the North, yes? Like I was always there?”

Elio leaned in, taking in the scent of Rune’s hair for one last time.

_I don’t want to die._


End file.
